Mic check…
… Is this thing on?
Ladies, I want you to write this one down because it’s important:”
“It’s not the bounce of your hair, your cup size, or your Jessica Rabbit “esque” energy that is going to attract the relationship you want.”
Will it warm your bed? Absolutely, but I’m guessing that’s not ALL your after.
We’ve been sold beauty filters and a conveyer belt of magic products, all guaranteeing they work as a siren call for men.
But you want to know the REAL secret…
… The one that can bring a man to his knees (I’m talking about proposals hunny!)
CONFIDENCE!
Yep, I see you… shaking your head over there.
Thinking to yourself, “Wow Sarah. Thank you SO much! I’ve never been let in on that golden nugget! My guy problems? Suddenly resolved!”
To that I say –
You may have heard it before, but did you understand?
There are 2 issues that come up whenever I talk to women about confidence –
- They truly don’t believe this is the #1 “big deal” thing for men. They may say they do, but it only takes a few minutes before they’re back to fixating on cup size and shiny hair.
OR
- They may actually believe it but they don’t know how to cultivate it.
So first, am I going to sit here and tell you attraction doesn’t matter?
Absolutely not! Attraction is vital in a relationship.
You want your man to want you (and when you look good, you feel good, and that’s a confidence builder to my friend!).
What I AM going to tell you is obsessing over how you look and how sexual you come off is only going to accomplish 1 major thing from men –
It is going to make them want to have sex with you.
Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am!
But I’m guessing you want more… not only a man who wants to bed you but someone who wants to love and cherish you too.
The real good stuff.
So what would happen if we actually believed men when they said confidence makes their hearts flutter…
… That it is the #1 thing that pulls them in, that makes them want to keep you warm, safe, and feeling like a queen …
… Well, I guess that would mean we’d have to trust men!
Dum da da dum
Trust! Make men not our adversaries, but someone we believe.
Hot dang! Nowadays, that type of chatter can get you canceled, but it doesn’t mean it’s any.less.true.
So, if you decided you were going to do that, you said –
“I ____ _____ solemnly swear to believe that men value confidence over all else”.
Then that takes us to the second question, how do you cultivate it?
I want you to cultivate confidence not just to attract a man, but to be the most vibrant, beautiful, unstoppable version of yourself you could be.
Let’s start with what you’re not going to do –
You will not fake it till you make it.
Simply because it doesn’t really work and you feel terrible while you’re doing it.
But you, you my dear, are going to instead prove a success record.
You are going to produce something multiple times until you have developed the confidence that you can do it.
A simple example: You get up and you make your bed. The next day you do it again. You make that bed for a month… and you’ve got yourself a success record!
You have demonstrated to yourself that you are a person who consistently makes their bed. You can rely on yourself to do that. You can have confidence in it, and not one person can take it away because you know it to be true.
Now that may sound like a silly example,
But what if you set a standard and you abided by it?
What if you set a goal? And you consistently did steps towards it?
What if you were a woman who made good on what she said?
Would that cultivate some confidence?
YES! YES! YES!
So to put a bow on this, let’s land here.
Do you want to know why self-confidence is so key for men?
When you have confidence, they can relax.
He gets to look at you and recognize that you don’t need rescuing.
Him having a place by your side is because you desire him to be there… and that my dear is incredibly sexy!