I often feel like femininity gets misrepresented.
That one side of the puzzle is assembled, while the other side stays untouched.
When we get into discussions about how to access our feminine energy, the emphasis often centers around learning to receive, appreciating beauty, and cultivating inner peace.
Undoubtedly, these qualities are important, but they do not encompass the entirety of the story.
It’s actually a major pet peeve of mine when I hear teachings that solely focus on the “sweet” side of femininity. This one-dimensional portrayal of women is precisely why so many reject and even fear embracing any of it. Images of Stepford’s wives and handmaids come to mind…
If that resonates with you too, stick with me.
When we talk about qualities like receiving, appreciating beauty, and a sense of play and joy, it’s easy to draw parallels with the younger stages of being a woman.
When we’re kids, our worries are lighter (or at least they should be), and our focus on our perceived flaws are less pronounced. We naturally possess a sense of confidence and magic until it’s disturbed.
I view this stage as the Princess Era of femininity – a time when we embody innocence, grace, and untainted self-worth. For many of us, what we need to do is reclaim this stage.
However, that’s not on the agenda today – today we’re talking about the Queen Era.
If you’ve ever played chess, you know that the Queen is the ultimate boss lady of all the chess pieces. She is the most versatile and influential piece. She also has the ability to strike with sheer force when necessary. To help you step into your own Queen Era, I want to spotlight 4 traits to focus on:
Intelligence, Intuition, Mystery, and Strength.
Intelligence:
However you divide up your roles, whether you’re a homemaker or CEO, it’s absolutely crucial to connect with your partner and approach life with intelligence and intention. Sharpening the saw is key.
Invest in learning about human dynamics, influence, communication, and negotiation. The skills will not only serve you, but also those you choose to align yourself with.
Oh, and let’s not forget how important it is to find a partner who matches your mental prowess. I’ve noticed many women who settle for partners who, honestly, don’t prioritize deep thinking (or thinking at all). That boyish charm and carefree spirit may seem fun in the beginning but a man who is an idiot will bring you serious stress and pain down the road.
And the flip side – if your partner doesn’t see you as someone who can bring vision and intelligence into your conversations, he might stick around, but seek advice and guidance from other people instead of turning to you.
Bottom line: Embrace intelligence. Develop wisdom and discernment. Kick the habits that keep you dumb.
Mystery:
Ah, mystery. It’s a concept that I believe women often overlook.
Mystery refers to something that is difficult to grasp or fully comprehend. When it comes to the dynamics between men and women, there will always be an element of mystery because we are fundamentally wired in different ways.
Yet, what I often notice is women unintentionally forfeit their mystique due to nerves. They talk and talk, and talk some more, feeling the need to be completely transparent or fearing they’ll burst if they don’t spill every single word. But here’s the truth:
Maintaining a sense of mystery requires an immense amount of confidence.
Let me share a little secret with you – ever heard the saying, “The one who speaks first in a sale loses”? Well, it’s kind of related to what I’m talking about here. I’ve witnessed women completely laying their cards on the table, revealing their every thought and emotion, all because of those pesky nerves. It’s time to cultivate a well of confidence and observe others.
Instead of rushing to fill every silence or divulge every detail, take a step back. Allow moments of intrigue and curiosity to brew. Get comfortable with the unknown.
Remember. The power lies not only in what you reveal but also in what you choose to withhold. Embrace your enigmatic side, and watch the magic unfold.
Intuition:
Intuition is undoubtedly one of the most incredible superpowers that women possess. Like a Queen who intuitively recognizes who should be by her king’s side and within her family circle, our gut instincts guide us in powerful ways.
Time and time again, I’ve experienced this with my husband, where my intuition would signal that someone wanting to hang around him was bad news – and guess what? Time and time again, I’ve been proven right. Now, he actually checks in with me, asking, “What’s your feeling about so-and-so?” before engaging with them.
Now, let’s break it down for a moment. Intuition, by definition, is the ability to acquire knowledge without relying on conscious reasoning or needing a logical explanation.
It’s that deep inner knowing that guides us. But here’s the thing, my queens—we need to strengthen our intuition by creating moments of stillness, where we can actually hear its whispers. In a world that constantly bombards us with overstimulation and distractions, many women have lost touch with their intuition altogether.
And when I say “fine-tune,” I mean acquiring skills that sharpen our intuition.
Sometimes, we get a feeling about someone that we can’t quite put into words. It could be that we caught a fleeting micro-expression of contempt that we’ve learned to recognize through experience. Learning to read body language and micro-expressions can tremendously enhance our intuition’s development.
Other times it’s not the “hearing it” that’s the problem… it’s trusting. For every relationship I’ve had that wasn’t great, my intuition was screaming from the beginning, “Sarah, stay away”.
So, cultivate, listen, and learn how to express your intuition in a way that people actually trust and want to listen to you.
Strength:
Lately, I’ve been seeing femininity spaces reject strength.
Women at large saying they no longer want to be strong, independent women.
And I understand the sentiment behind it. It often stems from their experiences of having to shoulder the burdens when dealing with deadbeat dads or partners who shirk their responsibilities. In that context, I completely get it, but the issue here lies not in strength itself, but in the presence of abuse.
When we face trials, we develop perseverance and character. We transform into women of fortitude, embodying resilience in the face of adversity.
Now, should we choose to live in perpetual struggle? Absolutely not. Strength should lead us to gain enough wisdom, enabling us to break free from repeating certain mistakes. We should want to acquire the skill sets necessary to make those challenging situations less common in our lives.
However, real talk: Trouble will undoubtedly find its way into our lives because, well, that’s just how life works. In those moments, we want to be equipped with enough internal strength and character to navigate through the storm.
So, let’s reclaim the power of strength, reframing it as a force that empowers us and shields us from being taken advantage of. Strength brings confidence. It assures that whatever life throws your way, you can handle it with grace, tenacity, and unwavering inner strength.
A woman is not one-dimensional. She is multi-faceted and can provide so much beauty and value to the people around her. If you’ve been sold on the sugar but not the spice, know that both are important.
Remember, the Queen Era is not a replacement for the “princess” era; rather, it’s an expansion of it. It’s a time when we can merge our innate princess-like qualities with wisdom, strength, and purpose.
Think of it as your regal evolution that allows you to reign with grace and authority, and make empowered decisions that influence and leave a lasting impact.