We’re sitting at dinner, and she shows me a guy she’s planning to meet for coffee. Cute, I say. She goes, Yeah, he’s alright—with a casual shrug.

Then she says, “I’ve been getting a lot of interest lately on the apps from really attractive men.”

Amazing! Show me, I say, getting all excited.

She pulls up this guy who liked her photo, and I have to admit, he’s a looker. I nod approvingly. So, when are you meeting him?

Oh no, I’m not going to meet him.

What do you mean? I ask, genuinely confused.

He’s too attractive. He won’t be into me.

And just like that… she disqualified herself before the game even began. This guy had already shown interest—liked her photo, engaged with her—yet she still wrote it off.

It’s not the first time either. I’ve been out with this same friend on multiple occasions, where guys are clearly interested in chatting her up, but she seems totally oblivious.

Then, as we’re leaving, she’ll say, “No guys were into me tonight.” And I’m left thinking, Were we even in the same room?

Here’s my two cents, because I’ve seen this scenario play out one too many times:

1. Get out of your head.

This isn’t just about my friend; it’s something I see women do all the time. We often let our insecurities run the show, blinding us to the interest and opportunities right in front of us.

The truth is, when we’re so caught up in our own doubts and fears, we miss the real, tangible connections happening around us. It’s like having a conversation with someone but being too distracted by the noise in your head to actually hear them.

The next time you find yourself in a social situation, try to let go of those nagging thoughts. Focus on being present, open, and playful. You might be surprised by what you notice when you’re truly tuned in.

2. Why not you?

It’s easy to disqualify yourself from opportunities—whether it’s a job, a relationship, or even just the chance to meet someone new—before you’ve even given it a shot. But here’s the thing: if you don’t put yourself out there, you’re missing out on life.

The world is full of possibilities, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be the one to seize them. Ask yourself, Why not me? The answer might surprise you.

Whether it’s going for that promotion, saying yes to a date, or just trying something new, remember that you are just as deserving as anyone else. Boldness has opened doors for me that I never expected, and it can do the same for you.

Here’s the thing—I got my start as a professional dancer by being a little naïve and a lot bold. I signed up for an intro dance package, and while I was waiting for my lesson to start, I found myself alone in the ballroom.

Turns out, it was the time when all the teachers had their meeting. So, when the studio owner walked out, I blurted out, “Hey, what would I need to do to work here?”

He was a little shocked, but he said, “Let’s set up a meeting.” And the rest, as they say, is history.

Now, I’m grateful for my bold moves, but I’ve also gone through seasons in life when that bold spirit disappeared. It’s usually followed by a time of challenge, illness, a breakup, a loss.

In those moments, it’s hard not to wear your losses like a heavy coat. But you get to decide whether or not you strap them on each day.

Everyone suffers blows—that’s part of life. But how we interpret those blows is what really matters.

• Lost a competition? What can you do differently to win the next one?
• Lost a relationship? Ask yourself—was it even the right relationship for you?
• Were there skills you were missing to make it succeed? If so, go work on them.
• Going through grief? Feel the sadness, but if it starts to overwhelm you, reach out and talk to someone who can help you process.

One of my incredible clients went through the loss of her husband. She started attending grief groups, which helped at first, but then she noticed something—some people had been there for years.

Their grief had become their identity. To the point where they no longer had joy.

My client decided she didn’t want to wear her grief forever. She took off that heavy coat and chose to step into the light, embracing the joy and possibilities that were waiting for her.

So, here’s one last thought… what if we expected joy? What if we approached life with a sense of play?

What if we expected our interactions with people to be fun? Don’t you think that going into life with that attitude, 9 times out of 10, we’d be rewarded?

Sure, we might get a sour lemon every now and then, but those other 9 times? Pure magic.

So why not you? Why not now? The game’s already started, and I’m betting on you to win.

… healthier eating, cross-fit, or waking up at a certain time.

But can we just pause for a second and talk about the word routine?

A routine is defined as:

“A habit or mechanical performance of an established procedure.”

With that beguiling definition, it should come as no surprise that only a mere 9% of people claim their resolutions yield success.

Don’t get me wrong, habits are fantastic!

You need great habits to make great things happen but when you do “a mechanical performance of an established procedure”, does it get your feminine vibrancy going? Are you inspired?

My guess is no!

It’s task orientated. A get-it-done mentality. Check it off and fuggedaboudit!

And yes, sometimes that feels good too but what would it look like if we shifted our focus from creating good habits to creating rituals?

A ritual creates a different feeling toward action. A more inspired feeling. A more infused feeling. Let me show you what I mean by illustrating a morning routine through the lens of a habit-based approach, then a ritual-based approach.

A Habit Approach…

I get up, make my bed, then check my phone. Pop in for a quick shower and spend a few minutes on my makeup. I grab my coffee and take it to go. Sipping about half of it before my first meeting.

Now, if we infuse some Feminine Ritual into this equation

I get up and begin my morning with my favorite cedarwood essential oil. As I make my bed, the scent gently wakes me up. I take a quiet 5 minutes to reflect and write in my gratitude journal, priming my mind for the day.

I hop in the shower and play my morning playlist. For me, it would be either French café or Bossa Nova. I give myself time to apply my skincare and enjoy getting myself ready for the day.

I grab my coffee, and I sit for the first few sips or the whole cup if I’ve given myself the time; tasting the flavors.

It’s different, right?

​Often we think it takes a lot more time to create something special but it’s simply not true. Adding a little bit of essential oil, 5 minutes to reflect, and playing some music sets up a very different start to the day.

The first scenario feels like you’re running on someone else’s treadmill, already late for your OWN darn life. But when you fill your life with rituals, you dictate your time. You choose to create your own beautiful life!

This week I encourage you to look at your morning, and take some steps to infuse a little ritual into it! You’re worth it babe!